So I know this is a little late and we have made it though grad school,
but I have received several emails about Law School / { grad school in general } so why not put together a little survival guide.
There IS a way to get to
THIS point....
without pulling all your hair out.
Trust me. You can do it.
So, I put together a few ways to keep your sanity and survive the grad school life.
Regardless of your situation, grad school, whether it be for yourself or your significant other is tough.
First, Grad School is NOT one sided.
It's a team effort between you and your spouse.
Go into the process knowing that it's going to be a HUGE blessing in the end.
You will survive if, and only IF, you work together as a team.
In our "team" I was the "supporter".
Trust me, it was hard at times, and I think I stressed almost as much as my husband ;)
My husband also worked throughout Law School which demanded even more of his time. So I found ways to
stay supportive and keep busy.
#1. Set a general
“DONE” time with your spouse ( or significant other )
Aaron set a goal when
he started Law School that he would be done studying each night by 9 or 9:30 PM at the
latest.
This is hard given
some weeks are more stressful than others.
Finals never counted
for this goal. Sometimes, the books came into bed with us and that “goal”
wasn’t followed but he REALLY tried to stick with it, and it made such a
difference.
Our Schedule went a
little like this.
( There were a few
semesters that he had late night class and those were brutal, but this was the
general schedule for 3 years )
7:15 AM Aaron left
for school/ work.
6- 6:30 PM got home.
Short Dinner
6:45 Aaron started
studying.
9:30 PM “US time” no
books
11 -11:30 PM Bedtime
Let’s be real here....
I
had MAYBE 1.5 - 2 hours a day ( IF that ) with him that were book free “US”
time.
I LIVED for that “us”
time.
Gosh I really looked
forward to it every day.
It was a time to talk
about our day, make each other laugh, relieve stress ( on his end ) and to just
spend time together.
So what did I do during the night when he studied??
This brings me to my
next point...
We had one full year
of law school before this little guy came into the picture.
Once you have a baby,
it’s a little easier to fill your night time because they require so much attention. :)
However during that
first year without a baby, I had to find things to keep me busy at night so I wouldn’t go crazy!
I obviously love
blogging so I would blog,.
I’m a slight nerd and
LOVE to scrapbook pictures the old fashion way.
I have books and
books of Aaron and I’s adventures while dating and newly married.
Anyways, find
something YOU like to do. Whether it’s sewing, drawing, baking, or reading find something to keep yourself busy each night.
It helps pass the time
and keeps your frustration ( of them having to study ) level down.
Huge. And totally self
explanatory.
Pick one night of the
week.
Friday night was date night.
Aaron
was DONE at 6 PM, NO questions asked and he took me out on a date.
( the only
exception to this was finals )
After Ryan came, well
Ryan either went to grandmas house or came with us on a date.
Get OUT OF THE HOUSE.
Go do something fun.
Rent a movie, get dinner. HAVE FUN.
I say get out of the
house because I found with Law School we were kept inside for most other
nights of the week.
It was therapeutic
for both of us to get out and do something.
#4. 3 Things that got
us through Finals week ( s )
Gosh, I have no doubt
that in every grad program, Finals are rough.
Law School finals
were always 2 weeks long.
BRUTAL.
WORST 4 weeks of the
year HA and the month leading up to those 4 weeks. AH.
#1. Dance parties.
My husband is
hilarious. After a few hours of studying, when he would finally get frustrated
with flash cards, he would throw his books down and jump up and say he needed
to dance.
Sure enough, music
was put on and we jumped around the room singing for a good 5 minutes.
Wishing “Shake it
Off” by T Swift was around back then when we needed it. That’s a good shake it out tune.
Find something to
break up the mood and kill the stress.
#2. Help them study
OR in my case, attempting to help him study.
I did my best to
offer my skill of helping him study for his tests.
HA 50% time I
couldn’t pronounce the word and 99.9% of the time I had no idea what he was
talking about but I rolled with it.
But there was certain
things he remembered on his test because of me and my ridiculous way of helping
him remember the term, so that made me feel cool.
#3. Paper chain or
countdown.
Make it a huge deal.
We always had a fun
weekend planned after finals were finished.
Gives you something to look forward to.
SIDE NOTE:
So when I was planning to write this post I asked Aaron if he had anything he wanted to add.
He said make sure you talk about the "notes."
So here we go.
So I packed Aaron’s lunch for the next day every night,
I know…. total elementary school cuteness.
And I got creative with notes and stupid stick figure drawings of Ryan and I that I would stick in certain parts of his lunch.
He is probably just telling me this to make me feel good ;) but he said it was the favorite part of his day.
I tried to make it semi exciting :)
#5. Patience and Attitude
Patience is everything.
Patience when it's 11 PM and you haven't seen your husband all day, but books are brought into bed to study.
Patience when you feel like a single parent for a couple days HA.
Patience patience.
It will all be over soon.
And it all will be worth it.
Attitude.
The person going to grad school, whether it's you or your spouse,
has enough on their plate.
They don't need to come home to a grouch.
Home is their escape from stress, make it a good escape.
That's what I used to tell myself at least HA.
#6. ENJOY IT ( in a really weird sort of way )
I know that's easier said than done.
There were times during this period in our lives that I thought to myself,
how could this ever be enjoyable!?
School just needs to be OVER! ( Insert tears )
However, looking back, there is something special about being broke and being students and somehow making it all work together.
It's priceless.
Make it fun even when "fun" seems impossible.
That all said, I'm pretty happy it's over :)
and you will be too.
It's worth every penny, stress and tear!
This is
Alycia she's such a sweetheart and she's adorable.
Social media is pretty amazing.
I met
Alycia early on and our husbands were on the same track with Law School and graduated at the exact same time.
It totally helps to have someone in your same shoes to talk to every now and again!
Check out her
darling blog and what she has to say about surviving the process!
Happy Tuesday All!
XO
