Ryan clearly loves when I take a million and 2 pictures of him.. Look at that face down there.

 My darling mother in law, hubby and babes.

 Ryan's first sunday to church! awww

 Mommy's little boy!!!!

My happiness!

Perfect weekend with my little family.

Love them so so much.

Motherhood (a month into it)

It has been exactly a month since my precious little Ryan came into the world.

It's been the most challenging and happiest month of my life.

People always say you won't know love for a child until you have one.

That is so true.

This little boy completely owns my heart.

When you are pregnant, the excitement of having a little one,

seems to overtake the thought of being a parent and the challenges that will come with parenthood.

I just wanted a little baby to play with and hold and love,

but it's not that simple.

I came up with 5 things that seem to have hit me this past month,
that I wasn't prepared for.

1. Their cry will break your heart.

Ryan sometimes has a hard time falling asleep,

and so I have to let him whimper for a couple minutes when I put him down to bed.

It breaks my heart.

I so badly want to go in there and snuggle him up,

but it's teaching him to fall asleep on his own (without me rocking him).

And he is getting so much better!

2. Lots of tears are shed.

For happy and for stress.

I didn't realize how stressful it would be with a newborn.

I remember the first time I got him in the carseat on my own and made it to the grocery store and back.

He ended up screaming the whole time we were at the grocery store,

and I called Aaron in tears wondering how I was going to do this.

Or tears at 3 in the morning when he just won't stop crying, and wont eat.

Tears of feeling inadequate as a mom.

But there is also lots of happy tears.

Like the first time Ryan smiled at me,

and watching him and Aaron together,

and knowing that you are this little one's world,

you are his source of life.

3. Feeling run down.

I knew you would be tired,

but I don't think I imagined being this tired.

Your body is worn out, and his feedings sometimes feel endless.

Sometimes I tell Aaron I feel like a walking zombie haha.

I realized I haven't slept longer than a 2 1/2- 3 hour period of time since he was born.

You HAVE to take care of yourself.

I have learned to sleep when he sleeps,

even if it's 2 or 3 little naps a day.

4. Feeling more love than you can possibly imagine. 

I honestly didn't comprehend the love of a mom.

This little child is so perfect to you,

and you want to give them everything,

you want to be their everything,

you would give your life to protect them and keep them safe.

When he has a tummy ache,

I cry, because I would do anything to feel his hurt and take it from him.

Love for your spouse.

You don't think your love can keep growing but it does.

5. Motherhood is not easy.

Emotions are high,

and sometimes (most of the time) I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

Some days I cry because I feel inadequate.

I find myself calling my mom sometimes 3 times a day with questions, concerns, 

and just to have someone to talk to.

It's a complete learning process.

Each day you learn something new.

In the short month I have been a mom,

I have come to learn there is no textbook or right way to be a "perfect mom",

I think a perfect mom gives all her love,

and the daily schedules, sleep, and feedings work themselves out on their own:)

I still have so much to learn,

but I love it all,
somehow life is just perfect.

I feel so blessed to be a mom to this precious little angel.

I can't imagine life without him.

No matter how much he was up in the night,

or how tired I am,

waking up to this never fails to make me smile.

He's the sweetest thing... ESPECIALLY in the mornings.

I'm convinced he is like that on purpose each morning to make me forget everything that just happened in the last 6 hours:)

I now watch the news each day like a real mom.

I watch the Today show each morning,

and good morning america.

(along with an occasional E News haha)

I have never felt so informed about the world (and celeb life)

I didn't know that breastfeeding would make you so hungry.
Here I thought I was hungry pregnant.
haha that was NOTHING!
Pregnancy was the easy part;)
I'm sure Ryan loves when I indulge in 3000 calories per day,
making his milk extra tasty:)

I am trying lots of new recipes now that I'm home!

I actually have dinner on the table each night for Aaron.

Expect recipes to come on the blog, because I think I have found a new love for cooking.

Ryan loves to pull my hair.

He has the grip of a body builder.

Seriously, he won't let go.

How beautiful is she!?

I can't believe my little sister is in high school now.

where has the time gone!?

Ryan is the best (and cutest) nap buddy ever.
Ever Ever.

We live for when daddy comes home.

Seriously.

Because it's just me and my baby,
and I don't have anyone else to talk to in my house,

I talk Ryan's ear off all day.

poor kid.

He's a really good listener:)

"Revenge" season 2 starts September 30th.

Aaron and I are ecstatic.
If you want a good show to watch... I would recommend it!

This is Ryan's Favorite onsie.

Now for some Ryan faces.
I guarantee if you came to my house and just watched his faces for 20 minutes,
you would be entertained.

 "Seriously mom"
"dad i don't understand you."
"oh hey ladies"

Happy 4 weeks to my little sweetheart!
Ryan had his 4 week old birthday this week.
We partied by having tummy time as a whole family,
and giving him extra kisses.;)
I apologize most (ALL) of my tangents have to do with my sweet baby,
but my life now revolves around him,
it's hard not to overflow you with pictures of him.

#2. Having someone to play with all day long.
It's like having a little doll to dress and bathe and feed all day.
He is my best buddy.

#3. Feeling like I have my OWN family.

They are everything to me.

#4. Watching him grow.

Aaron and I can sit and watch him for hours.
The littlest things make us so happy.
He has the funniest faces ever. ha It cracks us up.
He NEVER leaves our sight. ha yes, this is him on the dinner table with us.

#5. Seeing this.
Today he smiled at me.
It melted my whole heart... and yes I cried.
I felt like he knew exactly who I was, I kept saying
"Yes sweetheart, Mamma, I'm your mommy!"
It hit me that I will be his everything.
I will be there when he makes the team, or doesn't make the team,
I will be there to wipe away tears, and to listen, and hold him tight.
I will be there every step of the way.

andddd an added #6... Just when I thought I couldn't love my husband anymore than I already do...
Seeing him be a dad, is the ultimate. I'm so lucky to have these two.

Hungry and ready to eat..

(This is his mommy feed me face...)

(it's only been 3 hours since his last feeding, don't let this fool you into thinking he has slept through the night)

Once you see that face, I have to act fast or he tries to start eating my fingers.

 Then... Ry and I have TUMMY TIME.

Ryan LOVES tummy time...

But be careful, he will scream if you leave him there for too long.

He gets frustrated that he cant get up.

His pediatrician told me I should have tummy time with him every day, 

and that it's good for his neck muscles to strengthen them. 

He is getting stronger! So we are tummy time believers.

 Ryan usually gets worn out after 5 minutes of tummy time ha and it's time for his nap.

So we go on a walk every day for an hour while he naps.

Then comes Bath Time for little one.

 I don't think you could love bath time more than Ryan.

Look at that face.

Basking in the tub being massaged.

What a life.

He loves when I scrub his hair.

It's heaven on earth for him.

Time for another feeding.

I don't know if you have noticed but Ryan has a little mullet going on.

Like his daddy says,

"business in the front, party in the back"

By this time, I'm exhausted..

So I cuddle up in my big bed with Ryan, and we nap for a couple hours.

Sometimes we make it out of the house for errands... but most days we just cuddle in bed.

Daddy usually comes home around dinner to wake us both up.

They have "ESPN" watching time..(every night.. I'm already outnumbered)

It's Ryans favorite part of the day. 

 Look at that face..

He's in heaven.

He doesn't leave Aaron's arms all night.

We spend the night as a family of 3 watching the faces Ryan can make in a 30 second period of time.

Pretty soon its bed time and instead of telling Ryan

"Good night sweetheart Mommy loves you, I will see you in the morning"

   I tell him....

"good night sweetheart, mommy loves you, see you in 3 hours to eat:)"

I couldnt love my little family more.

and my sweet little one... is absolutely perfect.
Life has never been sweeter

I love being his mommy.

P.s. This week he turns 3 weeks old.
I think I'm going to have a little party for him.
I dont want him to grow up!